Monday, April 12, 2010

An open letter to the Universe

Dear Universe,

Okay, I get it! I'M FAT! No kidding!

But seriously? Do you have to make it worse? Creating a giant rip RIGHT. AT. MY. ASS. while I'm walking back from lunch? Having the doctor call to tell me despite my healthy eating habits my cholesterol is still elevated?


Look, I already have body perception issues. I don't need you adding onto it okay? Or is this shit on Em day?

Ya know what? Just leave me alone.  Deal?

Now I'm going home to go change. I can sit in the office with a huge ass (literally . . . ha ha ha!!) rip in my dress!

Thank you to the woman who stopped me in the street to tell me about it. I really do appreciate it. I would have never noticed. Ergh . . . 


On a happier note, I've got a fabulous weekend update coming up tonight! With pictures and all!

Update: P, one of my coworkers, sewed up the hole! She totally rocks!! 


  1. Yes - the Universe can kiss off for doing that to you. Not fair at all. Did you at least have pretty undies on underneath? LOL

  2. I wish! Alas but I was wearing an old pair of granny panties. *sigh*

  3. If your cholesterol is still elevated, it may need to be regulated with medicine. High cholesterol runs in my family, and I'm pretty sure I'll need to be on drugs at some point (despite my overall cholesterol level being normal, my LDL's and triglycerides are through the roof, though my aunt says the tri's are likely from sugar consumption).

  4. Oh man, not catching a break, huh? Hey, Universe! Stay away from Em!