Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Paleo vs. The Way I Used to Eat

Actually it should be called Paleo vs. the way I've been eating since this weekend! Ugh . . . I can feel the difference. Did I really feel this crappy all the time? My stomach actually has been hurting since I went to bed last night! Not consistently . . . but enough that I can't forget about it for very long.

Now while I haven't completely chased sugar out of my diet yet (actually that's been a BIG part of the stuff I've been eating this weekend), I . . . just completely lost my train of thought . . . wow. That's really bad. Umm . . . Okay. Well back to that later.

I do know whether or not I stick totally with the paleo way of eating (though as crappy as I feel right now, something tells me I will be.) I know gluten is out. I'm thinking that is the main cause of the ickies I'm feeling right now.

But I'm planning on restarting again and this time focusing more on cutting out sugar cold-turkey and just barrelling through it. I know I can do it.

In other news. The Italian thinks his foot is starting to heal.  That's WONDERFUL news. When he transfers to the toilet (which he can do by himself again! YES!!), bed, or shower chair he does put a little bit of weight on his left foot and he's said that it doesn't hurt as much. So that's a good sign. He has an appointment next week with his surgeon to look and see how his ankle is healing and check on his foot. Sounds to me like we . . . he won't need surgery on his foot. Which is FABULOUS news.

We're also not fighting anymore. He apologized for making me cry (after I asked him to). So we're okay now. Papa Italian came over to take my Italian to the chiropractor and fixed our vacuum cleaner, so I can go back to cleaning our apartment again. Apparently the hose was clogged . . . the one thing I didn't check. Ergh . . . Well now I know!

I had my first post WW weigh in today! Still at 204! Nothing lost, nothing gained. BONUS! I was sure I'd gained because this weekend I was showing a 1.2 pound gain. (Crappy food in, weight goes up!)

So . . . What's going on in your world? Now that I'm drama free (for the moment).

Monday, May 24, 2010

Getting a little perspective

I just noticed (not counting this post) I am 3 posts away from my 100th blog post! YIPEE!! That snuck up on me pretty fast!

I've decided I need to go for a looooooong bike ride everyday. It puts my head in a far better place than on the days I don't. Like take this weekend. I went for a ride Saturday morning and was in a pretty good mood and a good place (yes, they can be two very different things) all day. Sunday. Nope. The Italian and I fought all day long and were still fighting this morning.

Why? Honestly, I don't want to talk about it. Enough to say, I'm not perfect and he doesn't like that. (Okay not really, I'm being bitchy and angry . . . but anyway.) If I'd gone out for a ride, cleared my head, we might not still be fighting. Eh . . . who knows.

(I need a vacation from that man. I swear I do. Julie! Can you play next weekend??)

But last week being the rough week that it was (my poor Mom got calls every single day!) also prime munch time. I really used to think I didn't emotionally eat. And really it's only been recently that I've noticed when I get really upset, I eat. Kind of backwards. Or maybe I'm just noticing it now?

Though I have to say, as hard as last week (and this week will be if he doesn't apologize and quit nitpicking! . . . sorry . . . calming down . . . breathing . . . ) was, I've been reading around the blogosphere and honestly? My week's not been that bad.

Caitlin did a century ride with a cold!

JewliaGoulia is getting put through the wringer by her parents and their health & health issues.

Actually reading her blog posts has made me take a step back and re-evaluate my little dramas. Sure, my Italian is taking FOR-EV-ER to heal from surgery and this stress fracture isn't making things any easier. But he will heal and he'll be back up on his feet and cane again . . . eventually. He takes pretty good care of himself and is pretty disciplined in every area (which is what drives him crazy about me. I'm not disciplined in every area - or many for that matter. I'm working on it though . . . sorta.)

But she's dealing with 'rents who just don't seem to care. That's heart breaking. But pop over to her blog. She tells it better than I could.

I know I've not talked a lot about weight loss or what I've been eating lately. Honestly, you don't want to know. It's not been pretty. That's all I'm going to say about that. I'm pretty sure I'll be posting a gain tomorrow. (Did I really say it's not been pretty? Ye gads! I've been in this office waaaay too long! ha!)

I did learn something this weekend . . . something I learn over . . . and over . . . and over . . . and over . . .etc. I feel better, I think clearer and I'm far more patient (I was even able to put up with my in-laws on only 2 small glasses of white zin) when I've gotten some exercise in. I'm no runner yet. I'm actually putting that on the shelf for right now in favor of getting cardio in via my bike and building my endurance that way.

My body is beginning to crave it again. Being active, moving, being pushed. The ride to Curves definitely pushed me, but it was good because I had a destination in mind and I couldn't turn around and go home very easily (especially on Midlothian. Yeeks! That was a little scary!)

So that's where I am mentally. I'm a little waffley right now, but I'm definitely heading in the right direction (and looking fabulous doing it)!

Food and more detailed exercise will be back . . . soon. But isn't the mental game so much a part of this weight loss journey too?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Saturday Morning Ride

I just realized . . . I forgot to report my weigh in on Tuesday! Bad Em! Sorry about that! (Yes, I'm back in a healthy frame of mind again. YAY!!)

I lost 0.8 pounds taking me down to 204. The great thing is that the weight loss is starting to show. From side to side I am seeing a difference. I'm thinner. My gut's not really going anywhere very fast, but that may take concentrated attention. Also, my calves and ankles have gotten smaller. I actually noticed that last week. My thighs haven't, but I'm quite comfortable with the size they are. Though I'm beginning to think my weight loss is going to happen from the bottom up! (ha!)

If that's the case, I'm gonna look funny and top heavy for a while. Well not a while . . . but you know what I mean.

I still haven't managed to get a new tube for my new-to-me road bike, but I did get a ride in today. I took my hybrid bike and rode to Curves this morning. It was really quite a nice ride. I google-mapped it when I got home and it's about 3.5 miles one way. So I did about 7 miles this morning :-)

Albeit, I did stop and do the Curves work-out in the middle of it.

I've not been to Curves in quite a while. It surprised me how hard some of the exercises were! I was a little bummed by that, but that's what you get I guess. Time to start cranking away back there again.

But I love the fact that I can ride there and still get a pretty good work-out in and ride back. Obvioiusly that's going to be a Saturday thing. I like living, so I'm not going to try that after work. Midlothian Turnpike, even for the short while I'm on it, is not a bike-friendly road.

Now I'm cooking up breakfast/lunch. Stew meat, eggs and a salad. Or carrots in place of a salad. Depends on how the salad looks.

I'm back! I feel like whatever funk I let myself sink into is fading and I'm coming back. It feels good.


Friday, May 21, 2010

Finally . . . It's Friday!

It's been a week! Oy! Thank you guys for putting up with me this week. I've just had to come to terms with the fact that my Italian has a stress fracture in his foot and is going to be laid up longer.

I'm okay with that. I have to be. But I've come to terms with it. My poor Mom. I think I called her every day this week complaining about my Italian or something else. But she is REALLY good at helping me put things into perspective and smacking some sense into or talking me down off whatever tree branch I've climbed up onto. (I'm scared of heights so I don't do ledges.)

Another friend of mine called and offered to rescue me and head off on a road trip. She's also been there for me to touch base with and vent.

I honestly don't know what I would have done with out my friends, family and church family around. We go to a very unique church that really supports us both. (It helps that half of his extended family goes there too!) But it's really neat to walk in and people ask how my Italian is doing and really be asking and REALLY be wanting to know. Then when you ask them to pray for the both of you for endurance through the last push of this you know they will be and you can almost feel their prayers pushing you along. It's really a very cool feeling.

In short . . . you guys and my "in real life" support system ROCK! (Not that you guys aren't in real life . . . but you know what I mean!)

I'm learning . . . slowly how to balance taking care of my Italian, my responsibilities around the house, and myself. Of course if every night was like last night where he went to bed at 9, it'd be easy. But it's not. Normally we go to bed at the same time. Admittedly, I was tired when I put him to bed, but I stayed up and cleaned up the kitchen (he finished loading and ran the dishwasher while I was at work yesterday! :o) He's so wonderful!), unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and scooped the cat box then revacuumed the parts of the office he'd vacuumed (after I'd told him not too! *sigh* He drives me nuts but I love him!). They had cat litter trails because the tray wasn't in all the way.

No wonder the guy was worn out! He's sick as a dog and he'd doing chores! (Men! I swear!) Hopefully I'll get home at the correct time tonight and be able to get him into bed earlier so he can get more sleep tonight. He's going to sleep in while I run to the farmer's market and to Curves tomorrow, then we'll get him up and get him a shower. He'll probably feel better after that too.

Wow . . . okay, the last paragraph . . . that's called Em blogging on autopilot. It enters the brain and comes out through the fingers. But it makes for interesting blogging . . . No? Probably a little bit too much info . . . eh . . . I don't know.

Just like my "this is probably a dangerous situation" sensor malfunctions often, my TMI sensor has been malfunctioning recently. (Ha ha ha! Don't you feel lucky!)

Okay, now I've got 2.5 hours until I get off work. I need to get the newspapers done so I can go home and put my poor sick, starving (I forgot to make his lunch this morning, the poor man ate chex mix and an apple for lunch) Italian to bed and feed him dinner . . . maybe not in that order.

I'm gonna go ride after he's fed and put to bed. But I do need to go get a tube for my front tire. I'll have to get them to show me how to change a bike tire. Or maybe I . . . no. I'll have them show me. FUN TIMES! :-)

So what adventures do you have planned this weekend?

Do you ever autoblog?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Just Gotta Push Through

I have the smartest, most wise mom in the whole wide world! I called Mom to complain about not being allowed to go on a road trip with a friend over Memorial Day weekend because my Italian needs someone to help him get ready in the morning and at night. *eye rolling* So until mid-summer, I'm stuck.

Mom talked me down off of the branch I managed to get myself on and helped me see it from his side too. Hopefully we're looking at only a month and half more before he'll be a little more up and around on his own and I'll be able to take off on a weekend trip. There's also the week long trip with his family to the beach where I can take some time for myself multiple days in a row. And it will be a vacation. Not quite the vacation/get-away that I was wanting, but this will work.

I'll be able to get away after that I imagine. I do predict many day trips in my future (including one to the beach I'm thinking).*sigh*

So for at least the next month and half (the "at least" part scares the living poops out of me!!) I just need to push through. It's really frustrating because we were, by this point looking at at being nearly done and it's been extended by at least a month. It's almost enough to make me cry. Eh . . . I did shed a few tears while I was on the phone with mom.

I'll just redecorate the apartment in the meantime. That's what I'll do. Instead of eating (cause, yes, that's what I've been doing) I'll start purging and getting rid of stuff. Once that's done, I'll start reorganizing and making a wish list. Then I'll have a beautiful, minimal new apartment! (Well, not new, but you know what I mean.)

OH! And when my parents move they're giving us their sleeper sofa, so I'll be getting rid of the love seat we have in our living room and replacing it with that! Since I'm recovering the couch and sofa with slip covers, no one will be the wiser that they don't match. . . until it has to be used as a bed that is. Bonus is that we'll be able to have more people over. We have the futon (which needs a new cover DESPERATELY! It's got the same cover on it as when I bought it 12 years ago. Umm . . . ICK!) which can sleep 1 or 2 if they want to sleep snuggly and then the sleeper sofa which can be 1 or 2 (I think). I'm so excited!

Okay . . . see? I just have to refocus! Oy! Constant refocusing . . .

Well time to go to bed. My poor Italian's got a cold so he's a little snorish. (Ick!) I just hope he's able to get a good night's sleep. He looks like hell and he was saying he felt worn out! He's my energizer bunny! He's never worn out!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Jerky Redecorating

Earlier today I mentioned while we were at the grocery store I picked up stuff for me not only for dinner, but for snacks. Well one of those things I picked up was beef jerky. That stuff's EXPENSIVE! It equaled out to $1/serving! Sorry . . . we're not that well off. I've been wanting to make beef jerky myself anyway.

I know it can be done. I was dating a guy (way long before I met my Italian) and he made THE BEST jerky I'd ever tasted in his dehydrator. I don't have a dehydrator yet. (maybe I'll get one soon . . . *grin*)

I was waiting time at work today on TweetDeck and was reading a conversation about jerky between @JewliaGoulia and @krquick. Like the nosy know-it-all sort of person I am I stuck my nose in and mentioned that you can make it at home, found and posted this link. Jerky in the oven! Unfortunately my oven only goes down to 170, but I think I might try it soon anyway.

In other news, my Italian asked our landlords about painting. The good news is we can paint! The bad news is it's only one wall! The good news is they'll do the painting for us! The bad news is we have to buy the paint. Eh . . . that's not such bad news.

But the wall they'll paint is the one across from the fireplace in our living room. I was really hoping to paint our bedroom and redecorate it totally. (The living room was going to be next). But what's neat is about the time that I got that information from my Italian (can you imagine it? Me sitting on info and not spilling it immediately to you? I know! How horrible of me!) I got an e-mail from Jess at CSN Stores to do a review of one of their products. They've got EVERYTHING! I was looking through their stores. They've got track lightingbedding setsslipcovers (good-bye ugly plad couches!) and even fitness equipment stuff!

Can I tell you I'm glad my Italian had taken my credit card from me? (Hello HUGE credit card bill!) It was fun window shopping. It was my "If I had a million dollars and an actual house to furnish . . . " One day Em, one day.

The Mental Shift

I've been thinking since this weekend (and my subsequent binge, which I'll talk about in a minute) about this whole paleo adventure I'm on.

Plain and simple, I know I'm on the right track. Physically, my body still thinks I've lost my ever lovin' mind and my mind is trying to figure out what the hell is going on with my body, but I do know I'm on the right track. How do I know when I still feel so wacked out?

Well, my mom forwarded an e-mail she received from my aunt to me about someone in my aunt's church who has a thyroid disorder who's also on synthroid and was doing research and found the gluten aggrevates the thyroid. She went gluten free and is doing far better and is only on synthroid.

Prior to finding the out about the paleo way of eating (I'm tired of calling it the paleo diet.) I was toying with the idea of going gluten free, and was considering getting tested for gluten intolerance. I had read of a lot of people (who also listed a LOT of other things wrong with them that I frankly don't have) deciding to go gluten free. I weeble-wobbled back and forth on the issue. (As I am want to do on most everything. If you haven't figured that out yet.)

When I go to the endo, I'll have him check that, but gluten is out.

I know, I know. Gluten is out anyway on if I'm eating paleo. That's what I'm striving for, but I also have to take it steps at a time while I'm in the midst of it.

I'm still fighting with sugar. Talking with Mom, my plan of attack with that is to have an orange or piece of fruit with breakfast in the morning and that's it for the rest of the day.

Carl's Ice Cream on Saturday was incredible! Since Wednesday or Thursday of last week I began craving something smooth and creamy. Carl's totally hit the spot. I got a chocolate ice cream waffle cone and it was incredible. Better than I remembered. So incredibly yummy! And it was made even better because I went with Mom and my future sister-in-law, K. After Carl's K mentioned she hadn't eaten and wanted a burger. So we went to Sammy T's,

a cute little restaurant in downtown Fredericksburg. I had a bbq sandwich, which was really good. Sweet with just the hint of heat. Very nice.

Monday, was a sugar binge to end all sugar binges. I fell off the wagon feet first and just kept running. How do I feel today? Strangely? Not hungover like people talk about? Though getting up was brutal. I credit that more to going to bed at 11 two nights in a row.

(Going to bed THAT late last night had to do with coming home to my poor husband on the floor after rolling out of his wheelchair 5 hours prior. *sigh* I live in a crazy world. But sssshhhh . . . I wasn't supposed to mention that. )

Now about my title (I actually have a thought out title for once! I know! Go ahead . . . go get your smelling salts. I'll wait.). Since I've started on this paleo adventure I've continued reading the same blogs that I've always been reading. A lot of them vegetarian food blogs that I used as "reasearch" (if you will) when I was considering a more plant based diet (not necessarily vegetarian). As I'm moving away from that I'm finding while I still enjoy reading about their lives, I'm having a harder time connecting with them and reading about what they're eating is actually a distraction! :-( I hate that!

I feel invested in their lives (how crazy is it that these people I've never met, may never meet, but I've spent hours reading and I feel invested in their lives? What??) and I feel guilty unsubscribing to their blogs. But at the same time, I need to look out for my best interests and find blogs that are showcasing recipes or foods that I want to be eating now.

This is the mental shift I'm making. Moving from toying with the paleo diet (I know, I've said this before, but I think maybe I actually might mean it this time? Or I'm getting closer to meaning it?) to actually doing it. My husband is coming around and really supporting me in this which really helps too. He's eating all of the carbs in the house! (ha ha ha!)

No, that's not the mental shift I'm making either. Via blogs I mean. *sigh* The newness of paleo is wearing off. It's not so shiny and new and sparkly anymore (yes, my attention span is that short.), but it still feels right. I think its something I can stick to, something I can raise my children on (though my Italian and I may fight over that point) and something that I can eventually convert my Italian too (?) (ha ha ha ha ha!!!!).

Part of the change I've noticed is realizing I need stuff for me for all meals. Not just dinner. When we went grocery shopping this week, I picked up stuff for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks and my Italian didn't say anything. He even found free range eggs for me! (At least I think they're free range . . . I hope so.) I'm trying to be economical with what I buy, but clean food at the same time. (Though my Italian still doesn't care. "I don't want to live forever" he said at the grocery store while we were discussing meat and what the meat he was looking at ate before it was butchered versus the meat I was picking out for him ate. I think it's time to rent Food, Inc. but I don't think it'll have an effect on him. We'll see.)

So their is a mental shift happening with both of us. Slowly. Slower than I like, but his is following mine.

We're progressing!

Monday, May 17, 2010

I'm still here!

I am still here . . .

I've just been totally unmotivated recently when at home and slammed with work (where I usually do my blogging) at work. I will try to update you on my progress this evening!

OH what I have to tell you!

(I really should start writing my posts ahead of time shouldn't I? But that's no fun!!)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

So I'm a Little Selfish

My Italian went to see his surgeon and have his ankle checked out and make sure that the fusion he had on his ankle back in mid February was still healing well. Good news. It is! It looks great.

The outside of his foot (same one that had the surgery) has been bothering him since last Friday when he walked halfway up the ramp at the pool. Turns out he's got a stress fracture. (damn, damn damn damn damn!!!) It's going to take anywhere from 4 - 8 weeks to heal and he's got to stay off of it for that time. So the only therapy he'll be having for the meantime is pool therapy. But at least he'll be able to work on strengthening that foot while it heals. That's the bad news! :-(

*sigh* I was REALLY hoping that he was going to be up and moving sooner. Playing nursemaid is starting to wear me a little thin. I'm sure he's getting a little tired of being waited on hand and foot not being able to be totally independent.  (We're both fiercely independent people.)

He also doesn't understand that I need some down time to recoop and switch gears after work. We were talking about that after dinner while we took a walk around the neighborhood. He said "Well you'd better get used to it." Me. "What?" Him. "When we have kids, they're not going to understand that you need downtime."

Ugh . . . wrong?

Mom would come home, say hi to us, go up to her room and change her clothes and we knew that was her time. Why wouldn't my own?

Moms? Those of you who work full time. How do you do it? How do you work all day, then come home and  give 100% to your kids?

That scares me. I want kids, but I'm worn out caring for 1 husband (and I want 3 kids!). How will I deal with a husband and a child? OY VEY!!

This has been a message from the freaked out "grown-up" side of Em. We now return you to your regular neurotic Em.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Do I need to detox?

Okay, so I had a bag of popcorn and some cookies today. I actually felt better after eating that then I have in a while. Which makes me wonder . . .  ? Am I missing something when I'm eating paleo that I need to be adding in? Salt maybe? Though I woke up with the craving for something soft and smooth, like yogurt. Maybe I should have made a smoothie.

But the fact that I felt back to my old self has me wondering for this to really be successful, do I need to totally detox my system first? Is there a paleo way of doing that?

I'm with in the first few days of this and with the exception of Sunday, I've felt like crap. Saturday was not because of this though. I REALLY want this to work.

It is a lot harder than the transition to mostly fruits and vegetables for me though, because I grew up not eating a whole lot of meat. Maybe I need to go back and ease into it again? Concentrate more on getting my veggies in and slowly increasing the amount of meat I eat?

I've eaten pretty crappy today, but I feel more normal than I have in a while.

My body is used to crappy food and doesn't know what to do with the good whole foods I've been feeding it recently?

I will say the biggest difference has been when I was eating mostly fruits and veggies I would come home from work begging my Italian to order a big greasy pan pizza dripping with cheese and pepperoni. My body was craving the fat that it wasn't getting.

I'm not getting those cravings now, but I don't have any specific cravings. It could be more related to my thyroid than my diet. Eh . . . I don't know.

Weigh In Results & ME Time . . . Sorta

Last night was my second to last Weight Watcher's meeting. Honestly . . . I think I'm going to miss it some. Not that the weight is starting to come off again, I'm actually enjoying the meetings. (And I like my leader Amber.) At the same time, I'm not following their program anymore. I've heard pretty much what they've had to say, but still . . .

I did weigh in. I was down! YAY!! 1.4 pounds. I was a little disappointed. I was really hoping for more, but it's a loss and it's a good amount. I am 5 pounds away from 10% of my original body weight gone and 5 pounds away from saying goodbye to 200's. I'm at 204.8 right now. I'm SO CLOSE! It's exciting . . . and scary all at the same time.

Exciting because it's what I've been striving at for a LOOOOONG time. It's scary because . . . well . . . success is scary and I'll be closing in on "it's my fault" weight. Not the "it's my thyroid" weight. Though, I think that may have been the first 10 pounds. So I really can't use that excuse anymore. But I've been clinging to it anyway. Once I get under 200 I can't do that!

I REALLY do want to see a 1 in front of my weight. I'm only 5 pounds away. I know I can do this.

I just got to stop eating popcorn (lunch) and cookies (more lunch) and stick to the plan I've set out for myself. 

Speaking of food . . . Yesterday was perfect! Lunch was a salad that was lettuce, cucumbers, egg, tomato and crumbled bacon with the tiniest bit of balsamic vinegar for dressing.

Dinner was 2 pieces of chicken and a couple pieces of bacon with a bowl of the leftover grilled veggies from Sunday. Then an orange for dessert. It was SO good. My Italian was at his parents for dinner so I had the apartment to myself, with the exception of the two monsters (cats).

After I finished dinner, I grabbed my book and as I was heading to our bedroom to veg and read some I head a car door slam. I know that sound. Sure enough. My wonderful Italian was home! NOOOOOOO!!!!

I decided to ignore the fact that they were coming in and continue reading. My father-in-law brought him in, put left-overs in the fridge, took our recyclables and said hello and good-bye. I never moved from the bed where I was reading. It may have been rude, but I wanted my down-time damn it!

My Italian rolled in and . . . yep . . . needed help. *sigh* But shortly later he started getting ready for bed so I was able to go back to my book and veg for quite a while longer. Then we got him in bed and we snuggled up to watch Lovely Bones.

It was a wonderful and relaxing evening! Something I very much needed. I could still use that vacation, but I think I can make it through this week. I need to carve out some time for myself this weekend too. Just me. Unplugging from everything and just relaxing . . . hmmmm . . . nice.

OH! My Italian goes to the doctor tomorrow! His foot has been sore since last friday when he walked halfway up the pool ramp. :( I hope he didn't do anything to it! (I'm going to KILL him if he did anything to it!) But we also find out how many more weeks of winter he gets to torture me he has to wear his boot. I'm predicting mid June like the original estimate was. But maybe it'll be sooner? (fingers crossed!!)

So yea . . . how are you?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Day 3 - Almost Made It! Day 4 - In Progress

I'm beginning to wonder if I can follow anything without cheating. *sigh*

Day 3 Almost Made It!

Yesterday started out really really well. I was scrambling in the morning and raced out the door sans breakfast, so I just guzzled water all morning until I got to lunch. For lunch I had a grilled chicken breast on some lettuce and a few slices of tomato and a hot dog (sans bun) from a grill that's set up in the court yard in front of the Sun Trust Building. That filled me up and left me comfortable and happy the rest of the day.

Though when I got home at 5:30ish, I was starving again! (Has my metabolism sped up or something?) We were going to small group and we have dinner there and I knew were were having Chinese food, so there was a chance I might be able to eat some of it.  Especially since they said they were going to order Chicken & Cashews and Chicken & Broccoli. I did rinse off a strawberry that Mom and I picked on Sunday and eat that. It actually satisfied my stomach grumbles.

I faltered some made the decision to falter during dinner. I did eat an egg roll and then had some fried rice, then some white rice to sop up all the brown sauce that was covering my plate. Honestly? The egg roll was eeehh . . . and the rice . . . eh. I probably . . . No. I should have lived with out it.

All I drank was water . . . but wow, I've been craving apple juice like crazy. It's more that it's in the fridge here at work than anything else though. (That whole want what you can't have thing? Yea. Speaking of which, I need to go fill up my water bottle . . . No, not with apple juice. Ick. Not that much juice!)

Day 4 - In Progress . . . So Far So Good!

For breakfast I had 2 sunny side up eggs dry fried. I almost burned them! (Believe it or not) I think I'm going to wander to Salad Kings for lunch.

Tonight is Weight Watchers (my second to last meeting!) and Curves. I'm determined to go to Curves tonight. Though I'm also REALLY tempted to skip Curves and just come home and enjoy having the house to myself for a while . . . But I really do need to get the exercise in. Especially since I'm not going biking with Michelle et al tomorrow. (My Italian wants to get a shower.) I may try to go run tomorrow or something. I don't know. I've also NOT been to Curves or done a full Curves session in a really long time, so I'm well overdue. Time to go back and get cranking again.

Also on the to do list is getting the big bathroom tub & cat box scrubbed out and cleaning up the dishes that have been gathering since we've actually been eating at home. (I think I might try to vacuum in the morning . . . ICK!)

I miss my ME time.

Plain and simple. I don't know how Moms do it. I really don't. I essentially have a full grown child at home right now. (Not that my Italian is a child, he's not.) I have to help him get dressed/undressed, get his breakfast, prep his lunch, and make dinner. Then clean it all up. I'm also trying to keep the house in better shape these days. And that's doing better.

But when you have a weekend like we had this past one where you were on the run the entire time . . . you need a day off! Or maybe it's just me. I desperately need a vacation. One where I don't have my Italian to take care of or worry about. Where I can just go and relax!

I think I'm going to look into trying to find a little cabin in the mountains for a weekend to go to. Just me, myself and I. I think it would be good. I can go hiking (I miss hiking) and just be outdoors. There is something calming and soothing about being up in the mountains. (I don't think it has anything to do with the fact I was born in the mountains though.) A nice long 3 day weekend of getting up and having coffee (with cream and sugar damn it!) on the porch. Being outside and really getting truly hungry . . . the only type of hungry that happens when you're out camping or spending significant time in the outdoors. (I miss that type of hungry)

Last week Mom and I talked about doing that together. Maybe we can nail down a weekend coming up soon. I just need a break.

More than that? I need my Italian to be functional and mobile again so he can dress himself and take care of himself again. I want some of my ME time back! Even if it's just my mornings . . . I don't care . . . I want ME time again. (When I'm unconscious DOESN'T COUNT!)

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day Weekend + 5k + Food + more food = Good times!

This was a wonderful weekend. Especially yesterday. But that's because we were up home at my folks. (Not that I'm biased or anything . . . )

How was your weekend? How was your Mother's Day? Did you call your Mom (or go visit)?

Let me rewind a bit. My weekend was jam packed!

Saturday . . . as you guys know was Day 1 of my 30 day hard-core Paleo adventure and I did the Race for the Cure 5k. I'll tell you more about that in a minute

Food wise:

3 dried apricot halves
3 Raw organic cacoa gogi cubes - questionable on whether or not they fit
1 banana (post race)
Tropical Smoothies Health Nut Smoothy w/ Whey Protein (post race - & as I hadn't really eaten before the race I was desperately needing some massive nutrients in my system!)
2 or 3 strawberries from the Farmer's Market (Michelle and I went to the Farmer's Market after the race)
Not exactly paleo . . . the chicken was leftover from last night. I smeared goat cheese all over it because I'd put too much of the red pepper flakes on it the night before
  Leftover chicken cooked with basil & red pepper flakes smeared in goat cheese, 1/2 a piece of salmon and a salad of arugala, spinach, carrots, broiled yellow squash and radishes with balsamic vinegar for the dressing. Totally YUM!!

2 apples
Lots more strawberries
Baby carrots
Broccoli - raw, I know. It's a goitrogen . . . bad  **sigh**
Cherry Tomatoes
Possible more fruit . . . I'm not real sure. At some point I went into a fruit haze.
3 pieces of grilled Kentucky Fried Chicken
A few sips of a red merlot
And my downfall (my Mother in law was THROWING candy at me! Literally!)

Overall, Saturday I did eeehhhh . . . I remained strong through dessert, not eating any brownies or ice cream. I even perservered when they brought out the jar of candy. But then my Mother in law started trying to throw the candy back in the jar (she's got REALLY BAD AIM) and they were landing in front of me, so I made the decision to give in. I will say, the Reeses were totally worth it. YUM! The Hershey's, not so much. (Okay Beej, let the grief begin!)

Sunday's food was a little bit better because I had quite a bit more control over it. (I picked out what we were having for Mother's Day dinner!)
2 eggs fried in olive oil (NOT a good idea - ICK! But as I'm not doing dairy for 30 days butter was out. :-(  Ergh . . . )
1 sweet potato w/ a dash of cinnamon
Salad w/ cucumbers, red leaf lettuce, onions, tomatos (no dressing)
Grilled veggies (red, yellow, orange, green bell peppers, yellow squash, zucchini and red onions)
Grass fed steak
Bowl of strawberries - fresh picked from a strawberry field w/ Mom
Glass of iced tea 
I definitely felt better all the way around Sunday rather than Saturday. But I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I did the 5k with almost nothing in my system so I spent the entire day playing catch up. Unfortunately I was playing catch up with fruit so I ended up with lots of fruit sugar in my system, so I think I was dehydrated (despite drinking lots of water) and had too much sugar in my system. 

I've come to the conclusion that I really need to treat fruit like a dessert or a treat. It can't be a main staple of my diet. Or atleast not eaten in the mass quantities that it was on Saturday.

So . . . my weekend . . . 

I woke up on Saturday TOTALLY NOT wanting to get up at all. But I got up, got my Italian dressed and put on shorts, a t-shirt, my masher sports bra (because yes, that's what I call it), and my running shoes and got breakfast ready for my Italian. Even while I was putting all my gear together for the race it wasn't sinking in that I was going to go do this today. I wasn't mentally or physically ready for the race. I had no idea what I should eat, so I didn't eat much, so nutritionally I wasn't ready for the race either! Disaster waiting to happen!

Michelle (aka Jillian Jr.) and her hubby came over and picked me up. We got to the race as the gun was sounding so we never made it to the starting line. We jumped in somewhere near the starting line, which was fine as they hadn't signed up for the race & frankly I wasn't terribly worried about it at all. 

We finished the race in 52 minutes. Worse than last year, but last year I did quite a bit more running and I'd actually eaten before hand. Ugh . . . I ran down the last hill and when I hit the finish line I thought I was going to hurl! Ick . . . Never again!

After the race we meandered down to get post race munchies (a banana! YUM!) and then wandered back to the car where we stopped at Tropical Smoothie for the Health Nut Smoothie and then off to the Farmer's Market. 

Finally got home about noon. I made lunch for my Italian and I, then I raced off to Trader Joe's & Whole Food's to find grass fed steaks for Mother's Day dinner. Afterward I raced home, we picked up a plant for my Italian mom and went over for dinner. And that's where I ate fruit galore. I also developed an awful headache. I think it was a mixture of dehydration and waaay too much sugar.

Sunday SO SO SO SO much better. I skipped church to go grocery shopping (yes, again) and prep the jello for dessert. Turns out it was a good idea! By the time my Italian came home, I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen and the jello still had to sit for another 30 minutes before I could put the fruit in & then we could go.

My Italian ate lunch (left over Hamburger Helper . . .ick!) and I loaded up the van and off we went!

I love going home. Mom and Dad showed us the plans for the house they're building and Mom showed me the painting they did to various rooms upstairs to help sell the house they're in now. It's a beautiful house! Anyone want to move into a beautiful 3 bedroom house in Bowling Green,VA? It has a HUGE spare room up stairs as well (that was my room while I lived there). 

Dad grilled the steaks and veggies while I nuked (I know . . . bad, but I was crunched for time!) the sweet potatoes.

Dinner turned out REALLY good and very filling. After dinner Mom and I went to Mt. Olympus, a family farm near there, and picked strawberries, while Dad and my Italian talked bidness. After Mom and I got back we had dessert and by that point it was getting late . . . and we needed to head back to our home. :-(

But I'll  be back up there this coming weekend to meet my future sister-in-law before we head into Fredericksburg.

It was a fantastic weekend! Mom and I had some great discussions too. I want to tell you about those . . . but this post is getting waaay too long and I'm sure you're looking for toothpicks to prop your eyes open now!

Overall, I'm somewhat happy with the way this weekend went food wise. I'll update today's food tomorrow and keep a running tally on tomorrow's food for you. I'm sorry I'm a day behind right now. This post has (quite honestly) taken me all day to write!

(It's been a busy day! Between pee, cat puke, paper, tape and chinese food I've been on the go! But I'll tell you about all that tomorrow!)

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Eve of a New Chapter

HI!! Missed you guys! Really I have! I've just not been able to get a coherent post out in the past couple days. *le sigh*

I'm on the verge of a new chapter . . . I'm SO excited! Tomorrow I start the 30-Day hard core Paleo diet. Well I do have one deviant instance planned. I'm taking my future sister-in-law to Carl's Ice Cream in Fredericksburg. You can't go to Carl's and not have ice cream! It's like going to the dentist and not getting a cleaning! (But this is AS enjoyable as the dentist is AWFUL!)

Carl's is an ice cream window on Princess Anne street in Fredericksburg that hasn't changed since the 1950's (?? I think? I want to say?). It's IN-CRED-I-BUL! The link gives you more details. Suffice to say . . . if you're in Fredericksburg . . . GO TO CARL'S (as long as it's between Feb. 14 - sometime in Nov.) Don't worry about the weather. That doesn't matter. It's TOTALLY worth it!

(wow . . . have I ever mentioned how ADD I am? What exactly was I talking about??)

A lot of the information I received about the Paleo diet & thyroid disease, I got from a series that David Csonka is doing on Dear Thyroid. His blog is Naturally Engineered and is also chockful of really interesting information. Some paleo related, some not.

Oh yea . . . I was talking about tomorrow! It's probably not the best day to start as I'll be spending most of the day at my in-laws! LOL! Eh . . . Apparently we're having KFC for dinner. My Italian said he'd ask them to get a bucket of grilled chicken as well as fried chicken. (Can I whine for a minute? I LOVE KFC fried chicken! ****wwwwwhhhhiiiiiiiinnnnnne**** Okay, I'm done. I feel better, I'll deal with it.)

Tomorrow should be a lot of fun. I'm starting the day by meeting with Jillian Jr and we're off to downtown to do the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure 5k. Whoot! Yea . . . the one I'm still sorta in denial about? Yea, that one. It's going to be a rough race tomorrow. I'll tell you that much. Oy-Vey!

zzaxxx  <--- That's the Logan monster telling me it's late & I need to go to bed and pay attention to him.

So good night and off I go to snuggle with my Italian and pet the Logan monster. (sheesh, I can't even get time to myself when I'm trying to go to sleep! What the heck? HA!!)

If I don't catch you guys later, Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms & Future Moms & Wannabe Moms & Moms of kids who aren't their kids but Mom them anyway! (Remind me & I'll explain that last one. Unless you get what I mean.)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Quick Hello

I'm running sooooo late!! But I wanted to say hi!! I haven't forgotten about you! I've got SOO much to tell you!

Hopefully I'll have the energy (and brain power) left when I get back to tell you about the craziness!

I'm off to be tortured on my bike by Jillian Jr. I'll see you later!


(As crazy as today was, it was a sane day! YIPEE!!)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Flirting and losing

This past Saturday I mentioned I was going paleo . . . wwwweeeelllll . . . I've been more or less flirting with it since then. Not really fully committing to it.

But to be honest. Food-wise, I've NEVER really fully committed to anything long term. But I have spent the days since Saturday doing some really hard core research on the paleo diet and begun to better understand it.

I'm liking what I'm reading. The diet (by using the word diet I mean way of eating, not way to lose weight) makes sense, will be fairly easy to fully incorporate and I think I can fully commit to it. It also appears to be very well grounded in facts. There's not a lot of fluff that I'm finding. Which is good.

In addition to the research I'm doing online, I'm reading the book Primal Body - Primal Mind by Nora T. Gedgaudas, CNS, CNT.

It's a really good book, what I've read so far (and understand). It's not an easy read by any stretch of the imagination because she goes into detail what glucose and other things we ingest do to our body. This is one book I'm going to have to go back with a pen, highlighter, notebook and computer and reread. (The computer will be to google some of the terminology she uses. No comprendo!!) I feel as though I need to go to school and become a nutritionist to be able to fully understand this book.

That's not true. I'm just at the bottom of a large learning curve.

Up until now, I've not really paid much attention to my nutritional needs. Sure I toyed with various ways of eating, but never payed attention to the way they affected me, with the exception of the "vegetarian" diet that caused bruises to pop up. I was actually a junk food vegetarian. Potato chips are vegetarian . . . aren't they?


So all that to say . . . I've not been exactly up front. I've been flirting with the paleo diet. Flirting pretty heavily, but haven't made the full commitment, even though I made the declaration here.

Doing all the research is also why I've been relatively absent here. Well that and I've actually been doing work at work! Can you imagine it! Me! Actually doing what I'm supposed to at work! Ha ha ha ha! (Actually, I'm waiting for bossman . . . who apparently isn't here . . . to mark today's papers so I can copy them and cut out the marked articles. Le sigh)  I've also been hideously grumpy . . . but that's for another time . . . enough to ask if anyone wants to take the Italian for a few days while I go on vacation?

tee hee!

Now you know why I don't post this blog on my personal facebook page! My in-laws would KILL me! 

But seriously. After my 5k on Saturday (Would you believe I'd TOTALLY not realized that the Susan G Komen 5k was this Saturday? What the heck! Training? What training? Nope, not a bit. Guess I'm walking this . . . ergh . . . ) I'm racing (ha!) to the farmer's market to pick up pastured meats and fresh veggies for the week. Though the emphasis will be on the meat, because I can pick up organic veggies at the groceries around here.

And I'm gonna start.

In doing my research I came across this post and it really pointed out the hypocrite that I am. Here's the part the seriously kicked my butt.

Tough Love

Here comes the tough love. This is for those of you who are considering taking on this life-changing month, but aren’t sure you can actually pull it off, cheat free, for a full 30 days. This is for the people who have tried this before, but who “slipped” or “fell off the wagon” or “just HAD to eat (fill in food here) because of this (fill in event here)”. This is for you.

  1. It’s not that effing hard. (Yes, I wanted to throw an f-bomb in there.) Don’t you dare tell me this is hard. Giving up heroin is hard. Drinking your coffee black is. Not. Hard. Substituting Sunday morning French toast in favor of a giant omelet and side of crispy bacon is not hard. Eating fresh, delicious fruits and vegetables every day is not hard. So I don’t want to hear one single complaint. You won’t get any coddling from me on this one, you won’t get any sympathy for your “struggles”, and you won’t get any second chances. Not in my house. It’s thirty days, and it’s for the most important cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime. So shut up and do it.
  2. Don’t tell me you “slipped”. Unless you physically tripped and your face landed in a box of Krispy Kremes, you DID NOT SLIP. You made a choice to eat something of poor quality. It’s always a choice, so do not phrase it as if you had an accident. You make a poor choice, even once, you’re out. You don’t get to re-start, you don’t get to keep posting. Commit here, 100%, for the full 30 days, or go somewhere else.
  3. Don’t lie to me. Don’t even try.
  4. You never, ever, ever HAVE to eat anything you don’t want to eat. You’re all big boys and girls. Toughen up. Learn to say no. Learn to stick up for yourself. Just because it’s your Mom’s birthday, or your best friend’s wedding, or your company outing does not mean you “have” to eat crappy food. It’s always a choice, and I would hope that you stopped succumbing to peer pressure in 7th grade.
  5. This does require a bit of effort, people. If you’re cutting grains and dairy for the first time, you have to replace those calories with something. You have to make sure you’re eating enough, that your vitamins and nutrients are balanced, that you’re getting enough protein, fat and carbohydrates. Don’t expect me to fill in the blanks for you. Figure it out. There are a ton of good resources out there. I’ll list some in my next post, to get you started. But take responsibility for your own plan. Improved health, fitness and performance doesn’t happen just because you’re now taking a pass on chocolate milk.

The author of this post was walking people through 30 days of total no-cheat paleo.

This really hit me . . . hard.

How many times do I let myself off easy because I'm just not feeling it that day? I don't feel like carrots or apples, but that's all we have in the apartment fruit/vegetable wise, so I decide to eat a bag of chips? (Individual-sized! The ones I give to my Italian for his lunch, not a whole freakin' bag . . . though I've done that too . . .)

So it's time to woman up (because we all know it's MUCH harder to be a woman) and do this.

So, for the next 30 days, starting next Saturday, May 8, 2010 I will be embarking full scale, whole hog, no cheat on the paleo diet. I'll track everything I eat (ugh . . . it's good discipline though . . . Lord knows I need it!) and post it up here (for your viewing pleasure of course . . . or you can just skip right over it).

So that's that. Now . . . on to happy dancing news!!

A.) I FINALLY called to make an appointment with the endo and am in the process of getting my medical files transferred over.

B.) I love 2.8 pounds!! I'm down to 206.2!! I've lost 16 pounds total! My lowest weight with WW was back in December right before Christmas at 205.8. Right now I'm less that 1/2 a pound away from that. I'll surpass that and then some next week! My goal is to reach 10% of my original weight (222.2) lost by the time I leave WW. My last WW meeting is May 18. So I've got 2 weeks to lose 6 pounds. I can do it! I'm pretty damn sure!

Can I ask you guys to help kick my butt if I don't post my food?

Monday, May 3, 2010


The transition from what I was eating more plant based to more animal based protein has been hard! A lot harder than I thought it would be. I don't know if I'm eating more than I realize or what, but ugh . . . I've not been feeling great the past couple days. Though I did wake up absolutely STARVING this morning, which was a nice sign that maybe I'm getting back to normal. Unfortunately, but the time I got both of us ready and my Italian fed I had to fly out the door.

When I got to work, I wasn't hungry anymore and about 9 I started feel nauseous, so I didn't want to eat anything then! I did drink 2 bottles of apple juice totaling up 240 calories and probably more sugar than I even want to think about. For lunch I went to the Thai Cabin stand down the street. Tereyaki Chicken, spicy. Yum!

I felt kinda queasy half way through it. Not enough to think I was going to hurl, but slightly . . . hrmm . . . something feels funky. But I ate the rest of it anyway. It was pretty good. Rice on the bottom made it not very paleo, but it was still good.

I didn't make it to the Farmer's Market Saturday nor have I been to the grocery for fruits and veggies for me (which I'd rather get at the farmer's market anyway). So right now at the house we don't have much that I can eat. Plenty of processed shtuff though.

UGH . . . I can't get the Italian to let go of his processed stuff.


How do you get a loved one off processed foods? (He's not fat, he actually could stand to GAIN a few pounds.)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Salmon Cakes . . . sorta

Day 1 of going paleo was off and on at best. Breakfast was 3 sunny side up eggs cooked in butter and dinner was supposed to be Salmon Cakes with Homemade Ginger Mayo. I either made the salmon cakes too big or there was too much liquid because they completely fell apart. Well, I know there was too much liquid. I put the 3 tbsp of lemon juice that was supposed to go on the cabbage into the salmon mixture. Ooops . . .  But all in all, it's a quick, easy yummy meal. The Ginger Mayo, I liked. My Italian didn't. He ended up putting Catalina all over his Salmon cake salad.

The only down side to all of this. It's Sunday afternoon. And I can sorta still feel the salmon cakes sitting in my stomach. UGH . . . I think I may have eaten too much! I'm not sure.

Yesterday I also ate a package of strawberry poptarts. They're paleo right? HA!! No, I know, they're not. They're so highly processed I'm not sure they're really even food!

It was really strange, last night I was craving orange foods. Carrots and oranges specifically. I really wanted an orange, but I knew we were out so I thought about getting a carrot, but never got that far. That's by far the strangest craving I've ever had. Maybe a vitamin C deficiency? Weird!

I fell of the wagon a little this morning at church. I grabbed a coffee and dumped sugar and fake creamer in there while munching on some doughnut holes. Ergh! Mindless eating anyone? *sigh*  And that was with the salmon still swimming in my tummy. I don't get it!

That's all I've eaten today. I think I may grab some carrots because since talking about them, that craving is back. Maybe I need the fiber. That could be it!

The Italian has horseback riding this afternoon. But the carrots are for me! The horses get the peppermint treats in the back of the van.

I've got pictures of what dinner looked like but they won't load! GRR!! Will try later! Sorry guys!!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Paleo Diet - The Beginning

I started the paleo diet today! :-) YAY!

Breakfast this morning was 3 sunny-side up eggs cooked in a pat of butter. OH. MY. GOSH. So good! It's been so so long . . . too long since I've had eggs.

We still have lots of legumes and grains left in the house, so they will continue to be part of our diet until they our gone. However, I am going to start sprouting our grains and legumes to make them easier to digest.

I didn't make it to the Farmer's Market this morning either. :-(

We decided to sleep in this morning because I got home so late from an Arbonne party I went to with Michelle last night. I was wiped out! I think I got home about 11:45 and we got to bed about 12:30. Our "alarm" went off at 8, but I rolled over and slept until 9:30. Needless to say I didn't get anything done this morning! (The hubs wanted to sit on the pot and get a shower, so I needed to stay home.)

There was something else  . . . shoot . . . umm . . . I forget now . . . dang . . .

OH! I stepped on the scale this morning. I'm starting this journey at 206.4.

Laundry and dishes that need handwashing are calling! Then week 1 day 1 of the C25k is up after that.

I'll check in tonight to let you know how day 1 went!