Friday, June 11, 2010

Freak-outs and Food

I SO desperately wanted to put up another blog post about 5 minutes after I posted yesterdays. But I held off thinking I'd do it that night. Hrmm . . . Nope!

Yesterday was NOT a good day. Anxiety filled would be the best description for it.

Why? Well Tuesday, Dr. Mini-Giant, felt my thyroid and told me my thyroid was enlarged. At the time I said okay and filed it away to think about later. Yea . . . That file didn't get re-opened until yesterday when I was re-reviewing my week.

So I thought I'd do a little research. Probably not the best idea. Or maybe it was . . . I'm still debating. Every page I went to did discuss an enlarged thyroid but then began talking about thyroid nodules and thyroid cancer.

I try not to think like a hypochondriac . . . but this completely and TOTALLY freaked me out. I mean I was naseous <---- I will NEVER learn to spell that word correctly!, anxious, and completely hyper-active. It was awful!

Normally, I can sit down and talk myself back into a sane reasonable state of mind. Yea . . . not so much yesterday. Even food didn't work! It actually made it worse!

I managed to get my work done and was completely exhausted and thought seriously about going home and skipping my work-out. I had g-chatted my Italian that, but he didn't respond. (The brat!!!) So I called him before I got in the car and he (initially) said it was my decision to make. No kidding!! I want your opinion though! I hate when he does that!! He convinced me to go to the gym.

I did a mediocre work out, but am glad I did it. It did help clear my head some . . . but it wasn't satisfying.

I'm thinking once this year is up, I'm going to let go of Curves and move to a "real" gym. I've found Curves to be great for getting me started back in the exercise routine, but . . . meh . . . Is that snotty of me to say?

Actually right now I'm loving riding my bike. It's freeing. Feeling the wind through my hair helmet. It's just a nice feeling.

I told my Italian about my freak-out when I got home (apparently he didn't get my g-chat message. BOO!!) and he asked why I didn't mention it when he asked me about my appointment on Tuesday. It was in my To-Think-About-Later file! That's why!!

(Yes, I'm having conversations with myself today.)

I've calmed down and decided I'm going to ignore that topic and leave it as a question on my list for my next visit or when he calls with my results. (I'm assuming he's going to call right?)

So that was my freak out yesterday.

I'm not even discussing eating right now. It's been pretty not good. The sad thing is . . . I've not been fully enjoying it either! Ugh!

I can't use the excuse that there's nothing in the apt that I can eat, because there is! I'm just being amazingly lazy about it all.

So tonight with my computer, grocery list and pen in hand I am going to sketch out a meal plan for myself for the week and what I need to do to prep each meal. Ideally most of it will get prepped on Sunday and then I will not have an excuse!

HARUMPH! Take that lazy butt!!

(Though Monday I am taking my Mom out to lunch for her birthday!)


  1. My initial pap when I was pregnant with John came back "weird" and that it was showing HPV (the virus that sometimes points to cervical cancer -- the same thing that already runs in the family). I cried and hyperventilated for about a week straight and, with my docs permission, I decided to ignore it until after John was out and then it was gone. I totally get the freakout and will be praying that it was totally without cause, too!

  2. Palpation of the thyroid can be inaccurate; from my experience in the ultrasound testing department, the doctor sent home 2 patients who were mistakenly told they have nodules or goiter:)

  3. I think it's best to wait to hear back from the doctor. While the internet is great for a lot of things, sometimes we can get in trouble with self-diagnosing.

    Be strong, Em. Hang in there.